James Bond

(DOCTOR’s surgery. Beautiful cool female DOCTOR sits behind desk)

(JAMES BOND enters. His eyes light up at the sight of the DOCTOR. He oils his way over – with difficulty, as he’s got a GIRL in a swimsuit clinging to his leg, if we can swing it)

BOND:            My name is Bond, James Bond.

DOCTOR:      I’m Doctor Davis.

            (BOND takes out an I.D. card and flashes it)

BOND:            007. Licensed to kill.

            (DOCTOR waves a piece of paper in return)

DOCTOR:      Point 007. Your sperm count.

            (pause)

BOND:            Ah. Right. Thank you. Thank you very much.

            (sheepishly, but with dignity, he takes the paper and shuffles out)