This Sporting Life

(Two RUGBY PLAYERS in the dressing room after the match. They just sit there grimy, sweaty, exhausted, staring ahead side by side, into space)

            (pause)

ONE:   You know those cheap bandages I got to stop people pulling my boots off in the rucks?

            (TWO nods silently)

            Didn’t work. (lifts his feet up. No boots. He drops them again)

            (pause)

            And you know those bandages I got to stop people ripping my ears off in the scrums?

            (TWO nods silently)

            They didn’t work either. (he pulls the bandages off his head. Both his ears fall into his lap)

            (pause)

TWO:  (falsetto) You know those bandages you lent me to tie my jockstrap on?

ONE:   Sorry?